Confusion and the practical grace of God

The past seven weeks have been confusing, to say the least. I went on a job interview roughly seven weeks ago at Southern Middle School, which is only five minutes from my house. Initially, I was excited about the possibilities of changing jobs, meeting new kids, having a five minute commute every day, getting home early, etc. Then, as time wore on, I began to lose hope that I would ever find a job close to home. I had contact with the principal here and there, but nothing concrete. One moment, I would think the job was mine, then the next, I was sure they had found someone else. The game was getting old.

Last week, God imparted an amazing grace to truly enjoy being at my current job, and gave me an unnatural ability to not worry and truly let go the possibility of a new job. Thursday night at ladies' meeting, I was asked what the latest was on my interview. I replied simply, "I have no eggs in that basket." And that was the honest truth.

This past Monday, however, all of my peace and self-confidence left. I received a call and was offered the job. After seven weeks?! Didn't they realize that I was now happy at my job, despite the commute??? What were the pros and cons of leaving and staying? Honestly, as I began to pray and practically evaluate things, there was no "right" answer. God was calling me to make a decision of faith.

For those of you who don't know me well, I am a woman who lacks great faith. I like decisions to be black and white; right or wrong; good or bad. And the decision to accept a new position was none of those! In a moment of sheer panic, I called my mentor at Johns Hopkins. She is also a Godly woman, whom I have come to love and respect. She asked me two simple questions and read me two Scriptures.

1. Which job will allow you to best serve your family now and in the future? (PA, duh)
2. Will this job be available next fall? (Not a chance)
3. Has God called you to fear? (NO)

Ok, so she asked me three questions. Then she recited two scriptures to me:

Phil. 3:13-14 "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

2 Tim. 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

She strongly encouraged me to make my decision and not look back once I had. She also reminded me that God has given me power--power to take a step of faith, and power to combat the fear that filled my heart.

Then she left me with this, "Call me once you get your feet wet!" Isn't God good to encourage us exactly how we need it and at just the perfect time?

God filled my heart with immediate peace about my decision. I called the principal at Southern Wednesday evening and accepted the job. Then I marched myself into my boss' office Thursday morning, resignation letter in hand. (That will be the topic of my next blog, to be sure).

As I was driving in York today, I realized that my world is about to shrink. I now have only one reason to regularly leave PA--to attend church. But I am excited to be planting more roots near my home, and can't wait to see what lies ahead!