Have you ever sat back and really evaluated the direction your life has taken? I met for lunch with a friend today and realized that my life is taking some very different turns than I had ever imagined it would. As I am gearing up to become a mother, I am facing the reality that I will only be working for ten more weeks once the school year begins, AND those ten weeks may be the last that I work for years to come. That thought scares me, saddens me, yet at the same time brings great joy. I stand amazed that these emotions can coexist and even reveal themselves simultaneously. After questioning the "what ifs" and "buts" of quitting my full-time job, I am realizing that the direction my life is taking is exactly the one He has laid out for me. The all too familiar passage in Jeremiah 29 has been resonating through my heart and mind.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "
I can take heart that the path of motherhood means not only the end of one dream, but also the fulfillment of an entirely new one. Does your path look vastly different from the one you had imagined as a college freshman or new graduate? Are you saddened by the thought of a "missed opportunity" or excited by the journey you now walk?
7 comments:
I never thought about how it must be kind of scary to stop working, after working or going to school pretty much your whole life! But I think what's ahead for you in motherhood is going to completely take your breath away! I'll be praying for that at least! :)
The idea of giving up my old people is scary to me! But then, I know God will give grace for that time when it arrives. I think I feel a little of both outlooks...God is at work!
Yeah, my life has definitely taken a different direction than I imagined. I really wanted to be married, much less have children when I was a new graduate. But it's been an amazing journey and I'm glad God is in charge of my life and not, ultimately, me.
I never did stop working, so I can't totally relate. But, I can relate to Motherhood being a completely new season of life for me...full of so many emotions it's nearly impossible to write or describe aloud. There isn't anything better, in my mind that being a mother. Besides of course, knowing that you have Christ as your Savior.
I've been dealing with the same emotions. My life is not at all what I had planned for myself....which it shouldn't be! I totally relate with you about not working and how you feel-I was so sad to quit my job, but so excited to begin motherhood. There are so many "ifs" and "buts" that we don't have answers to (although I tried to answer them all!), but it all works out in the end :) Can't wait to catch up tomorrow....love ya, Laura
I am ending a "career" as a homeschool mom and probably will be working 3 jobs outside the home within the next few months. So my situation is reversed from yours, but still filled with a mix of sadness, excitement and a lot of questions. YOu'll be fine.
Libby, As I look back, WAAAYYY back, I see both missed opportunities and a great journey. They go hand-in-hand. For every opportunity I either "missed" or was "lead away from," the journey changed. I think you need to just be faithful to your Creator -- you won't understand fully the tapestry of your life for many years, but need to make the best decisions based upon your prayers and convictions. That is part of "working out your salvation!" (Sorry this was so long... sort of felt like my blog... :-) Love you, Momma O
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